Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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