I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
