I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
