i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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