Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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