Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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