Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
