I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
