I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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