i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
