do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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