Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
