I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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