i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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