yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
