"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize