You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
