i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
