you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
