this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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