i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
