Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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