can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize