I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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