This is not my ceiling
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
