I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
