Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
