i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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