I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
