You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You were trust falling into bushes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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