she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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