All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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