Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
