I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
