You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked