I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."