My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
