didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
