The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
