also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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