Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
