i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
