her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize