It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Say something about gay babies.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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