She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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