I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
