She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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