I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish i was in the wii world.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
