she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
meet me or not, i'm out of control
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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