remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
