Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
