kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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