Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
