Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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