Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
