I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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