um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
