Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The adults are the big ones right?
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