some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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