and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
