All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
