I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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