i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I cut my penus on the lid.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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