If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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