No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
