just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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