Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
honey bunches of taint.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
